It Was Uncle Natsu's Fault
by bentellsitlikeitis
Summary: One Shot. They were now adults with families and kids of their own. They had grown. With age came maturity and trust. Gray trusted Natsu, trusted him in his kitchen, trusted him with his kid, and trusted him to maintain order for one hour. The ash for brains could surely handle it for one hour right?...Right?


The raven's eyebrow twitched as he took in the scene in front of him. It was a mess, no beyond a mess, it was a disastrous war zone and the fallout from it covered everything in his view. At his side his palms clenched into tight fist as he tried but failed to take deep calming breaths. As he spoke his voice was low and deadly, usually a tone for only his worst enemies, "WHAT. THE. FUCK."

"I'm telling! You said fuck!" Gray turned to try and find the owner of the very familiar voice but amongst the debris it was near impossible.

His anger got the better of him and instead of acting like a man who was almost 30 years old he taunted back, "Tell! See if I care! My language is going to be the last thing on that woman's mind when she see's what happened to her kitchen."

Gray heard a small whimper before the voice cried out again, "It was uncle Natsu's fault!" Gray cringed visibly, the child's moter had taught him to call the slayer uncle Natsu just to piss Gray off. She was like that, she loved getting under people's skin although now she mostly like to pick on Gray. That however was one of the things that made Gray fall for her, she was a lady but she could hang with the guys too. She knew how to dish it out and didn't cry when it was thrown right back at her. Except while pregnant, Gray was certain she was part demon while pregnant. There was some shuffling followed by little feet running. Gray looked down at the tug to his pants, there what a set of big deep brown eye's look up at him. The eyes were pleading and the ice mage felt guilty for the distress he caused the small person. "Papa it wasn't my fault, I promise!" The small person was covered from head to toe in the same mess as the kitchen. His brown hair was white with flour and sticky with egg yolk. There appeared to be some kind of batter covering the boy's shoulders and was dripping down his stomach and pants with more flour dusted all over his body. Gray sighed and scanned the room for more life signs finding a tuft of pink hair. Instantly his anger zeroed in on the dragon slayer.

"What the hell happened flamebrain? I left my kid with you for one hour. One freaking hour! Look at this mess. The girls will be back in the next couple hours!"

Natsu was standing by the sink wondering himself how it had gotten this bad. "Chill out snowflake, we got a couple hours. We'll get it cleaned before they get back." Natsu sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and cringed. He pulled his hand back and held it up noticing some kind of jam or jelly now covering his palm. He tried to clean his hand on his vest but only succeeded in mixing the jam with some other sticky substance and spreading it even more. "The kiddos wanted to do something nice for their moms. Have a heartfelt little surprise ready for them when they returned. We tried to do cookies but the batter was too thin so we thought we'd improvise and turned it into cupcakes but it still didn't turn out right. Although I'm still not sure how all this happened."

"They couldn't draw a picture or pic some flowers for them?"

Natsu's eyes went wide and he grinned, "Hey, those would of been great ideas! We really could've used you when we were brainstorming!"

The ice mage pinched the bridge of his nose, "Brainstorming requires a brain and yours is full of nothing but smoke and ash."

"Oh really frosty? Well you thought I had enough of a brain to watch your kid," the fire mage spat back as he leaned against a flour covered counter.

"And you had to prove me wrong. You had kept your three alive so I thought you could handle watching mine for an hour. Apparently I should have taken Yuki with me!" Gray shook his head as he gazed at his son. He stared at Yuki for a moment before his brow creased in confusion. Looking up he carefully scanned the entire kitchen before giving Natsu an alarming look, "Wait, where are yours?"

"They are here." Natsu straightened from the counter and sniffed the air as he looked around, "Somewhere here, I think?" The fire mage started frantically searching. He ran to the fridge opening it up and searching the space inside."Not in here!"

"Hey Papa," Yuki went unheard.

"No shit. Check the cabinets dumbass!" Gray yelled as he bent to look under the small kitchen table. Natsu growled at the name Gray had called him but started opening cabinet doors.

"Papa."

"Hold on Yuki."

"Judy! Iggie! Annie!" The dragon slayer called out but received no answer. He then called over his shoulder, cGray check the oven."

"The oven!" Gray screeched as he ran toward the oven, "Why in the fuck would they be in there?!" The ice mage yank the oven door open so hard the hinge broke. The oven door fell to the floor the heavy metal piece landing right across Gray's bare feet. "Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" screamed the ice mage as he started hopping from one foot to the other.

Natsu whipped around from the cabinet he'd been searching when Gray screamed, "I baked my kids, didn't I?" The fire mage slumped to his knees, "Lucy warned me something bad was going to happen if I didn't pay attention and now I've went and done the unforgivable." Natsu started sobbing, "I baked my babies!"

Gray thought about freezing the slayer in a block of ice but instead grabbed a saucepan off the stove top and flung it at the hysterical dragon slayer. The pan smacked Natsu square in the forehead shocking him into silence as he stared at the ice mage in disbelief. "Your kids aren't in the over stupid," Gray shouted.

Natsu stood up and stomped til he was nose to nose with the ice mage, "Then why were you screaming for if you didn't find something gruesome in there?"

"Because the oven door smashed my toes!"

Natsu pulled back and tsked, "Jeez Gray you are kind of a drama queen. I thought the worst had happened." The fire mage went back to checking the cabinets.

"I am going to kill you Natsu," Gray ground the words out through clenched teeth.

"Maybe you could focus more on helping find my kids and less on threatening me. You might want to get those anger issues checked out. You got a vain popping out of your neck the size of a licorice."

"My only issue right now is you ash for brains!"

"Really because looking at this kitchen I would think I'm the last of your issues ice block."

Yuki sighed as he listened to his Papa bicker with uncle Natsu. It wasn't anything he wasn't use to, he'd seen it a lot. The 6 year old went and grabbed the broom from the corner. "Alright now do it just like mama showed ya," he spoke to himself. With a nod he took the proper stance.

Gray now had a fist full of Natsu's shirt and both men were yelling obscenities at each other. The ice mage cocked his fist back ready to launch it at Natsu's face but instead he was smacked in the back of the head smartly with a broom. Gray let go of Natsu to hold the now forming knot on his head. He stared at his son as the dragon slayer started to cackle. However his laughter was short lived as he received the same treatment from the ice mage's son. Both grown men started down at the little boy until their ears caught onto the sound of little giggles.

"Yuki that's not nice!" Stated the girl Judy.

Iggie still in a fit of giggles spoke, "Do it again. DO it again!"

Both men turned and noticed blonde, towel clad, 3 year old twins standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room. Natsu rushed and scooped the small kids up one in each arm. "Judy! Iggie! I'm so glad you're ok and no one got toasted in the oven." The dragon slayer plopped a kiss on the head of both kids before he started nuzzling the twins making them giggle and try to wiggle out of his grasp.

"Why wouldn't they be ok daddy? And why would someone be in the oven?" Natsu looked up at his oldest child. The 10 year old girl had her pink hair pulled up into a side pony tail that cocked to the side with her head as she gazed at her father questioningly.

"Well we couldn't find you guys. One minute we were baking and then I guess I lost track of yall," Natsu admitted.

Gray's 6 year old scrubbed his face with his hands, "That's what I've been trying to tell you guys! Annie went to give the twins a bath but you guys were too busy yelling at each other to listen to me." Yuki crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his father as Annie rolled her eyes at hers.

Natsu turned and smiled wide at Gray, "All the kids are safe and sound and accounted for. I'd say all's well that ends well."

Gray hummed in agreement, "Yeah I guess we were freaking out for nothing."

Both mages made their way through the door and into Gray's living room. Natsu plopped down on the couch still holding his twins while Gray draped himself over the matching arm chair. The dragon slayer shook his head, "Man now that that's over I feel like a nap."

The ice mage gave a nod, "I can actually agree with you on that one. I nap sounds really good."

Annie stood near the kitchen doorway next to Yuki, she shot him a look of pure annoyance as he shook his head. Annie leaned over and whispered in Yuki's ear, "Wait for it...5...4…3...2...1."

Gray sprung up from his seat, "The kitchen! Dammit Natsu If I go down I'm taking you with me."

Natsu squinted at the ice mage for a moment before jumping up himself, "Annie watch the twins!" He shouted dropping the twins at her feet as he ran toward the kitchen with Gray right on his tail.

FTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFTFT

Gray was breathing heavily and covered in sweat. He was sitting on the floor his back slumped against the dragon slayers. Natsu was in no better condition than Gray as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.

"We..did...it," Gray painted between each word.

Natsu spoke between heavy breaths himself, "Yep...was...there...any..doubt."

Gray rolled his eyes as he used his hand to push himself up to his knees then off the floor. Turning he held out a hand that the dragon slayer helping to pull the other man off the floor.

Gray turned facing Natsu with his back to the door, "I'm just glad we got it done in time. I'd take my chances with Acnologia before facing a 7 month pregnant Cana if she would of seen this kitchen." Natsu's eyes went wide he started to talk but Gray cut him off, "You thought Lucy was bad with the twins, none of those stories you told me stand a candle to Cana. Man she was terrifying when she was pregnant with Yuki having to stop drinking cold turkey. I mean after he was born she NEVER drank like she use so you wouldn't think it would be as bad but it's almost worse!" Natsu was shaking his head frantically, "I'm serious Natsu, she can't have a beer with dinner and for some reason it's all my fault and I have to kiss her irrational ass to keep from getting screamed at."

At this point Natsu had stopped moving or making any sound, he had turned as pale as the snow Gray loved and simply gawked at the ice mage. Gray cocked his head to the side, "What? The terror I live with has you frozen with fear?"

The ice mage chuckled but the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him silenced him. Gray went ridged and his eyes went wide with fear.

"Hi honey, I'm home," Cana's voice dripped with a venom that made the ice mage shiver.

Swallowing thickly Gray turned to face his wife, "Hey baby! I'm so happy so see you. Did you have a good trip? You must of because you are really just glowing."

Cana raised an eyebrow, "Glowing huh? No dear that's just sweat from carrying the extra weight of growing a tiny person with my body in the mid summer heat. You know because at some point I was dumb enough to allow my husband to do things to me that often end up with a terrifying pregnant woman. Don't worry though Gray I would never want you to live in fear like this again so I will be strong for both of us and will NEVER allow those kinds of baby making things to happen again."

"Cana, baby, I didn't mean it the way it sounded. You are wonderful and beautiful, and only just a little bit scary and-"

"Shut it Gray!" Cana glared daggers at her husband,

"Yes ma'am"

Gray heard Natsu laugh behind him and the dragon slay went as far as to imitate the sound of the cracking of a whip. The dragon slayer jumped however when the genuine crack of a whip littered the air. Lucy walked up next to Cana, "1st of all, you were gripping about me to Gray while I was pregnant with twins?" She paused for an answer but Natsu only gaped at her so she continued. "2nd please explain why my babies are laughing because daddy thought he baked them in the oven? You thought for some reason while in your care our children ended up in the oven?" The blonde mage tapped her foot and stared at the dragon slayer, "You think it's funny because Gray got yelled at then you are going to be laughing hysterically after we get home."

Silence followed with both girls staring at the men menacingly. Both men were afraid to say or do anything know with their luck they would make things worse. The silence stretched on for a few moments until a loud crash made all four mages jump. Looking to the sound Cana saw the oven door had fallen off landing in a heap on the floor. She looked to her husband for and explanation. Gray slumped his shoulders defeatedly, "Really I have nothing at this point. You guys wanna go to the guild to eat since the oven obviously not working today? Maybe Gajeel will be there and we can ask him to come look at it."

With an exasperated sigh Cana turned to head out the front door followed but traitors small people letting their mothers know of the fun big mess that had been all over the kitchen. Gray and Natsu trail behind heads hung low.

As they walked to the guild Gray nudged Natsu, "I still can't figure out how you made such a flipping ,mess."

"Honestly I can't figure it out either." Natsu answered, "One minute it's a little messy the next it's like total chaos, like a bomb went off."

They figured it would be a unsolved mystery until Yuki told his mother about his day.

"Hey mama, mama guess what!" Yuki shouted to his mother.

Cana looked down at her son, "What's up kiddo?"

Yuki smiled proudly, "Grandpa came by today and practiced crash magic with me!"

Cana smiled at her son, "That's amazing Yuki! Grandpa is a really strong mage, I bet you will be one too if you keep working hard." The child beamed at his mother.

Gray looked over to Natsu, "Gildarts came by?"

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you with everything that was going on."

"So Gildarts, who uses crash magic, which is a strong, chaotic, messy kind of magic, came by and practiced this magic with my son?"

The dragon slayer nodded, "Yeah, wasn't a big deal they hung out in the kitchen with us. He left suddenly though right about the time things went crazy and…." Natsu glared as the came up to the doors of the guild, "That bastard."

Gray nodded.

Natsu sniffed the air, "He's in there I can smell him." The dragon slayer turned and kicked the guild doors open and shouted, "Hey Gildarts you old ass face, fight me!" Then the slayer ran into the guild with a flaming fist.

Gray turned to the girls and the kids, "So that's not going to end well, you guys wanna try that new cafe they opened on this side of town?"

"Yes that sounds nice," Lucy said as she walked away from the guild kids in tow pretending as if the father of her children was not causing a ruckus in the guild.

Cana followed the blonde, "Yep it's a good plan."

Yuki looked up at his daddy, "Are we leaving so we don't see uncle Natsu get his ass kicked?"

"Yep," Gray ruffled his hair, "And don't say ass it's a bad word."

Yuki put his hands on his hope, "So is fuck but you said it a million times today."

Cana whipped around shooting daggers at Gray with her eyes. The ice mage looked down at Yuki, "I'm going to go take my chances with my father in law and ash brains." With that Gray took off running toward the guild, "Love you babe! Have a great lunch," he shouted.

Yuki looked at his mama, "Papa's going to get his ads kicked too, huh?"

Cana smirked at her son, "Yep!"


End file.
